I can't shake all these shitty feelings. I know school is starting soon and Im a  little stressed for that but lately everything has been getting to me. I cant stop listening to taylor swift and eating ice cream -_- I think I realized that Im incredibly old and Im going to miss so much of this... the other night I told mom how much I loved her because I know she is not going to be around forever unfortunately. Its weird to me how many people I just overlook when I should be cherishing everything. But even now as I say that Im still ignoring some of the people who love me for the people who don't. Right now I have another tab open with AIM hoping my ex boyfriend will sign on and confess his love to me. I also just texted a guy who I have liked sense pre k and asked him to hang out.. and believe me he does not seem interested.

Its funny how some guys can be so interested in me and be sooooo nice to me but I would still ditch them for a guy that is a complete asshole. Its incredible. I think its because I dont want to be responsible in a relationship and actually have a guy that cares and then Ill mess it up. If I go after a douche bag I dont have to worry about it not working out because I KNOW it wont and I wont be so heart broken. After fucking everything up with Terry I dont want to risk it again.. hense why Im going after a guy who I know is a douche bag.... hes hot though...

ANYWAYS... thats my obnoxious vent for the day..